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No Cake for Dirty Old Men

Once upon a time I took a family vacation to Europe and we visited Holland (because that’s where the plane …Continue reading »

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Accents: An American Woman’s Kryptonite

(I’d like to dedicate this blog post to Angie, Cristin, Jess, and Karen for without whom the true hilarity would …Continue reading »

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A Tale of Two Snowmen, Part 1

Once upon a time there was a blizzard in April.  It was a rather unexpected blizzard being that most snow …Continue reading »

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A Tale of Two Snowmen, Part Two

The two snowmen cried themselves to sleep.  While they slept, darkness crept over the land along with other things.  Tall …Continue reading »

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A Tale of Two Snowmen, Part 3

The End.

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Dear Men at the Gym, Part 1

Hi and stuff. I thought it might be nice if we had a little chat about things that you do …Continue reading »

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Dear Men at the Gym, Part 2

Hi again my new-found friends of great strength. Today’s topic revolves around how you like to lift weights. #1: Spoiler …Continue reading »

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Dear Trees, DIAF

Dear Trees, What gives?  My entire life I have been kind to you in a direct sort of fashion.  Like …Continue reading »

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Liz’s Secret Pro-Tips: #1 Where Not to Eat Cheese

In a great effort in being more helpful to the world at large, I bring to the web my pro-tips …Continue reading »

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Dear Men at the Gym, Part 3

Dear Why-the-fuck-are-we-still-having-to-talk Men: *sigh* I thought we were done here.  I thought I could move on from you and focus …Continue reading »

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What kind of moustache are you?

This philosophical question was posed to me inconveniently as I stood inside of a party store this week.  I had …Continue reading »

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Why I shouldn’t have a car (Part 1)

So like 99% of the people living in America, I have a car. But I really should not have this car. …Continue reading »

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Dial “Z” For ZomB Where the “B” Stands for “Book”

Do you wish you could read an epic and awesome and funny blog that talks about the end of the …Continue reading »

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Dear Men At the Gym… Swim Edition

Hey you. I really thought we were past all this.  I thought we had something special, you and I and …Continue reading »

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The Snot Heard ‘Round the World

So there I was: swimming peacefully in the pool late at night with no one else around.  I was determined …Continue reading »

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Why I hate the word “egg”

There are some words like “moist” and “cocktail” that are quite honestly the worst things gifted to the world since …Continue reading »

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